/* Sexual Intercourse Algorithm v 1.0 Beta 5 build 1025
Copyright eXpired - idiotica.net, expired@idiotica.net */ 
#include "bigwang.h"
#include "you.h"
#include "dirtyslut.h" // Version 2.3, 2.4 has extra experimental STD's not covered
#include "bugsupport.h" // Bug detection and eradication algorithms
#include "viagra.h" // Handicapped accessibility support
#include "18pack.h" // Self explanatory
#include "coersion.h" // This class handles the arousal process
#include "loveglove.h" // Protection for run-level bugs

void main()
{
   You you;
   18pack beer;
   Slut girl(RANDOM); // Generate random slut
   
   if(girl.weight > 170 || girl.ugly == true)
   {
      while(girl.ugly == true)
      beer.drink();
   }
   else if(girl.age < 18)
   {
      you.run(QUICKLY);
      you.masturbateFiercelyInstead();
      exit(); // Better luck next time
   }
   
   // Girl should now be approved for further evaluation
   BigWang *ramRod(INCHES8); // Create wang for standby
   
   if(you.age > 45)
   {
      Viagra limpBeGone;
      you.takePill(limpBeGone); 
   }// Old guys gotta do it, too
   
   you.attachPud(ramRod); // Ready the wang for proper usage
   Coersion pickupLine;
   you.speak(pickupLine.random());
   
   if(girl.action == SLAP || you.language == DRUNKISH)
   {
      you.speak("Bitch!");
      you.run(QUICKLY);
      you.masturbateFiercelyInstead();
      exit(); // Try again tomorrow
   }
   
   while(girl.aroused == false)
   {
      you.giveSlutDrink(girl); // She'll be ready after about a 6 pack or so
   }
   
   // Girl should now be approved and in a proper run state
   you.foreplay(NEVER); // Foreplay is NOT necessary in this kind of human encounter
   girl.removeClothes();
   
   if(girl.vagina == HAIRY)
      you.useGardenSheers(girl); // Nobody likes a Gorilla Salad
      
   if(girl.vagina == SEAFOODSPECIAL)
   {
      you.usePowerWasher(girl);
      you.goingDownAnyway = false;
   }
   
   if(girl.vagina == CRABS)
   {
      BugSupport orkinMan;
      you.call(orkinMan);
      orkinMan.pesticideLevel = FULL;
      orkinMan.exterminatePestsInArea();
      you.goingDownAnyway = false;
   }
   
   if(girl.vagina == WARTS)
   {
      if(you.beenLaidInAwhile == false)
      {
         you.popWarts();
         you.usePowerWasher(girl);
      }
      else
      {
         you.speak("AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!");
         you.run(LIKEAMOTHERFUCKER);
         you.swearOffSex = true;
         exit(); // Don't even THINK about executing masturbateFiercelyInstead();
      }
   }
   
   // Security for filtering bad and illegal operations should be succesful
   if(you.goingDownAnyway = true)
   {
      while(you.gagReflex == CONTROLLED)
      {
         you.plugNose();
         you.lickDeadFish();
      }
   }
   
   // The following is correct blowjob procedure
   you.speak("Well, it's not going to suck itself!");
   while(girl.onKneesSmilingLikeACheerio == false && you.satisfied == false)
   {
      you.bitchSlap(girl);
      you.speak("What are you waiting for?");
   }
   
   LoveGlove *jimmyHat;
   ramRod.wear(jimmyHat); // for protection of extra STD's such as pregnancy, which is the worst
   
   if(you.whiskeyDick == true)
   {
      you.vomitOn(girl);
      you.passOut();
      exit(); // Hey, it happens to everybody. Really.
   }
   
   if(you.intoxication == SHITFACED)
   {
      you.begForAnalSex(girl);
      if(girl.poopSexWilling == true)
      {
         you.putWangInDaButt(girl);
      }
      else
      {
         you.putWangInDaButtAnywayAndPretendItsAnAccident(girl);
      }
   }
   
   if(you.intoxication == SOBER)
   {
      you.putWangInBeardedClam(girl);
   }
   
   while(you.awake == true && you.wangDefeated == false)
   {
      you.thrustHips(LIKEDYINGANIMAL);
      if(you.knowHerName == true)
      {
         you.speak("Ugh... ugh... UGGGGGGH, %s!", girl.name);
      }
      else
      {
         you.speak("Who is your daddy, and what does he do? UGGGGGH!");
      }
   }
   
   // Intercourse should now be properly and fully executed, and it's time for her to leave
   you.kickOutDoor(girl);
   free(girl); // Properly clear her from memory
   you.eMailYourFriends("LOL I got laid!!! Eye am 3733t!");
}